I wrote the following note a month ago. The search goes on.
Some house help are irreplaceable.
But yeah, I know, nobody is indispensable.
It has been 3 months since Yaya Malen left for an indefinite vacation. She has never taken a break since she worked with me 6 years ago. She would take a day off every other Sunday. And during times when our family would be gone for a few days, she would take 2 days off only to help another family in their household chores. Her hometown is in Negros and she felt that money for her fare would be better spent by using that to help her parents.
The other day, she officially said goodbye. She is scheduled to get married this December and although she still wants to come and work for us, she has decided to start raising a family of her own. And I am truly happy for her.
Our household has been in a topsy-turvy mode since she left, as she did almost everything by clockwork and has lifted all the domestic stress from our shoulders. I am however, very grateful that I still have my young but efficient Ate Anna who can do almost anything I need her help in.I have lost such a precious person and until now, no matter how I have resigned to the fact that she will not be coming back, I still have this little wish she would. I appreciate her so much.
But Yaya was the workhorse, and the expert. She plans our menu, which is quite complex, as we are not all vegan in the family. She markets every week working within a small budget, cooks, does some cleaning and gardening. On days when I need to leave the house for work, she watches over my toddler, who is now a 4-year-old, while my other Ate watches over the smaller child. Yaya knows where all our stuff is stored, and can call appliance repair, and order Gasul, and prepare potluck meals just the way I want her to. When guests arrive, and I'm not there, she will suffice as one efficient hospitality committee.
Months and months before she left, she had already warned me about her vacation and possible retirement. Since then, even if I did not want to focus on this loss, I lived each day dreadfully. I couldn't imagine how I would manage without her! During her stint with us, I gave birth to two babies, and had a change of laundry woman/yaya/all-around helper at least 5 times. She was the constant in our domestic life. Someone I can always count on. During the Ondoy crisis, she singlehandedly managed to clear up and clean up our place, supervising a few workers, both volunteer and paid, while the rest of us had to stay in my mom's house. Our other helper then was on vacation and did not come back as she promised. But Yaya was steadfast, and was as competent and trustworthy as we needed her to be. I had a 3-month-old to care for, and the 2 older kids to attend to during that very difficult time of recovery. Knowing she was loyal, and reliable, took away from me a lot of the stress and uncertainty after that big flood.
I remember the day my brother died, soon as she found out, she came up to my room, and asked me, "Okay ka lang, Ate?" with tears in her eyes. I wanted to crumble in her arms, but instead I felt strengthened. Yaya Malen has been some sort of a fortress for me. God has blessed me with her, to enable me to do a lot of other things. I could lean on her and be worry-free.
Not is all loss, of course, as I have GAINED a lot of weight, as a result of my husband-chef par excellance's delectable cooking. Not that I welcome the extra pounds, but I have all the more appreciated this hardworking man of mine. I admire his talents, his reliability, his resilience. Many times I am the optimistic one. He tells people that even if the ship is already sinking, I would still relentlessly steer it to safety. These last months, he has been the even much stronger anchor that he is. He has been the hopeful, faithful one. One day I asked him if he was tired of doing the market. And to my relief, he said, going to the market is like therapy to him. It gives him the wonderful joy he similarly feels when he does the grocery. I think that aside from the delight that comes from getting a lot of bargain buys and freebies after having reunited with the many sukis his dad introduced him to at Farmer's Market, he has also felt the fulfillment of mastering the art of crockpot cooking!
My eldest, who enjoys kitchen work, has grown in leaps and bounds in his dependability when his Tatay can't make it on time to prepare meals. My 14yo daughter has been more independent, has grown more patient as a babysitter, and seems to be a much better planner (she can't afford the last-minute washing of costumes or ironing of uniforms anymore). I supremely enjoy it when she has fun with her little siblings, transforming baby duty to play time. Both teens have been spending more time with the younger ones, and continue to discover how they are actually lovable more than annoying. The little people, likewise have been experts in the chore of packing away, and in the littlest tasks they could help us in. I have spent more quality time with the babies too. I may have missed a lot of exercise and me-time but I know that I will always have those when the small ones get bigger. They grow up so quickly!
Just last week, the moment I have been yearning for since Sept. 3, 2011 happened. My youngest child turned two! It was the day I looked forward to, as I plan to wean him at this age. And I know that once he is weaned, I will have lesser anxiety about his feeding (aka more time away from home perhaps to travel or at least go to the gym). But a week before his birthday happened, I found myself sobbing and wanting to stay close to him all day, imagining how difficult it will be for him (moreso me) to say goodbye to our bonding time whenever I breastfeed. Time flies so fast!
 |
| Time zooms too fast. |
And soon as the most awaited moment arrived, I wanted things to slow down.
There are people you may be able to replace, in time. But moments with your children, with your loved ones? Irreplaceable.
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