The Balancing Act Interview with Irish Planes-Funtalan

 Here is the video-interview of former child-gymnast, multi-sport athlete-mom Irish Planes-Funtalan, the audio track can be heard in my Season 4 Episode 5 episode "The Balancing Act" of Nanay's Notes: a Podcast on Childhood, Children and Childlike Faith.

Pack that Christmas Sack!

Aaaaahhhh! 4 more days and it's Christmas! I thought I have learned my lesson not to cram, not to do things the last-minute. But the Christmas Sack or Stocking is the last item in our checklist to avoid spilling the (jelly) beans and keep everything in suspense.

Some ideas (sweet and sugar-free) are yours for the taking and cramming in this episode.

I based the contents of this episode on my article "The Christmas Sack to Pack" found in the website of Family Wise Asia: http://www.familywiseasia.com/the-christmas-sack-to-pack/ Check out the sample photos here!

More suggested items are listed below!

• Stationery set
• Hair ties & clips
• Coupons – for shopping or privileges (chore-free day, extra scoop of ice cream, etc.)
• Travel-size sketch pads
• Slinky
• Books for your little reader
• Cereal bars
• Fluffy bedroom slippers
• Harmonica
• Silly recyclable straws
• Cute socks
• Fresh fruits like apples, oranges, grapes or bananas
• Novelty fun items
• Mini board games
• Crossword/Word Finder book
• Cleaning cloth for eyeglasses
• Stress balls
• Balloons
• Yoyo
• Art supplies: glitter glue, washi tape, crayons, googly eyes
• Stickers!

Nourishing Your Mental Health

 Written November 10, 2017 by Richelle Joson - Ligot

My back is glued to the bed. Can’t get up. Am I depressed?

It’s hard to talk about it. The stigma lingers. Would you easily say, “I’m depressed” to a friend who says, “Kumusta?” I won’t. I’ll need at the very least, “Kumusta ka?”, or “Are you ok?” Yet, sometimes even that won’t work. Someone close to me has to really want and care enough to know. Maybe “You look sad. Want to talk about it?” would do better.

It’s harder if you can’t even understand what’s happening to you, and harder still if it’s someone you love who has been acting strangely and all the more to let others know that you or your child has been diagnosed with clinical depression.1

“Me? My child? How could it happen to my perky, emotionally stable, spiritually active family?”

It can happen to anyone. I am not a health professional and had not been diagnosed with depression. But I have seen how family and close friends get affected by mental illness.2 And I have likewise seen how people get healed.

I knew I had to do something about the stigma I and the rest of society have given it. I discovered that my ignorance about mental illness explains why I get so taken aback by the fact that it could happen even to the happiest of individuals, to the very best of families.

After losing my dad to cancer, I gave myself  freedom to grieve, but did not plan to stay in it for long — only to be surprised at how death in the family can unravel more complex issues I never thought existed. I had days of not wanting to leave my room, and not wanting to get up from bed, thinking I could just sleep off my sadness. But God graciously intervened with comfort, using my loving husband and kids to strengthen me. I have also been witness to how my father fully surrendered to Jesus, and this truth has peacefully assured me of the eternal life my Papa enjoys in the Lord.

In a community such as a church, where love, joy and contentment abound, there are people who still think grief, depression, anxiety, and other mental conditions are simply spiritual attacks or consequences of sin and lack of faith. In some families, one merely gets scolded for being weak or told to simply snap out of it, and stop all the drama. I am however so blessed to belong to a church that strongly supported me in prayer and walked alongside me during my grief. I did not feel pressured to overcome grief by a certain deadline. God also perfectly provided a church ministry called Griefshare, and through it, I got to journey with fellow-grievers, as we supported each other, and gained a deeper understanding of how God’s truths help us recover from grief, despair, and even depression.

It was also in church where a mental health professional held a “Women in Depression” seminar. There I learned about how hormones contribute to some mental conditions. Hormonal levels change like crazy especially at adolescence, pregnancy, and post-partum. During these times, a woman’s tendency to sink into depression is more probable, especially when triggered by loss, tragedies, and overwhelming stress attack. I was enlightened about various kinds of mental health conditions such as bipolar, anxiety, and eating disorders, schizophrenia, and addictive behaviors. I discovered possible causes, contributing factors, and the need for a multidisciplinary approach to it. In small discussion groups, counselors, medical practitioners, patients and survivors tackled the value of acceptance, faith, therapy, medication, support groups, and the healing power of God.

Because of the awareness I gained, I became more confident in ministering to those who showed signs of mental disorder. I began to understand myself too – pulling me through two pregnancies, post-partum blues and the ordeal of seeing my brother suffer from and dying of cancer. I was able to identify and anticipate my unusual weepiness, my touchiness and a general feeling of heaviness, while finding no reason for it. I would often feel guilty about how sorrowful I felt when I knew there were definitely a lot more reasons to be grateful and satisfied.

Every time friends share how unexplainably sad they are, how desperately they want to take their own life, or how stuck they feel in that pitiful state no matter how they want to get out of it; or when they open up about how their child or sibling is exhibiting symptoms indicative of a mental illness, I find myself more compassionate, and able to sincerely empathize.

Astounded by the statistics of the state of mental health in the Philippines [See sidebar], I was all the more convinced that education must be a priority to help dissipate the stigma and improve our nation’s mental health. You and I can do something. Here are some ways we can start:

Reach in. We must start with ourselves.

• Learn! Read, attend talks, and listen to professional advice about mental health.
• Make time for reflection and sort out the clutter in your mind.
• Take steps to grow your faith and foster hope through spiritual exercises: prayer, meditation, and meeting regularly with a support group.
• Blog. Vlog. Creatively express your emotions and thoughts, and process possible triggers. Keep a daily thanksgiving list.
• Get fit. Adapt a healthier lifestyle: eat a nutritious diet, get adequate sleep, work out. Make time for leisure –paint, learn a new hobby, dance, sing! Go for regular sanity breaks (retreats, travel, simple nature walks) and minimize stressful activities. Say “no” to involvements that burden you excessively: start with lesser TV news and social media.

If you are mentally healthy and spiritually growing, you can be effective help to others.

Reach out. Be extra aware of each family member’s emotional and mental state. Take time to really find out how they are doing. Is there a broken relationship they are grieving over? Are there unmet expectations of self and others? Are we putting too much pressure on academic performance and grades rather than putting more premium in building relationships and meaningful memories? Among our friends, do we merely say, “Kumusta?” or are we genuinely concerned about them? Be sensitive to what is going on in their lives, and offer help.

SOURCE: HTTPS://TODAY.MIMS.COM/MENTAL-HEALTH-IN-THE-PHILIPPINES–BY-THE-NUMBERS

Hold it. Hold your judgment. Instead of scolding, listen. Instead of finding immediate solutions, pray. Sometimes, negative feelings are consequences of poor choices, but this is not always the case. Sometimes, it’s something inside the body that may have gone haywire. Remember, mental illness is similar to any medical condition, like, say, diabetes. Remember, too, that there is a cure, many ways to cope, and available professional help.

Hold up. Be supportive through prayer, your presence, and professional help. Prayer for and with someone suffering can mean a lot. Be available, be there for them, validate their feelings, and offer to accompany them and get professional help.

Hold on. Faith in a Trustworthy Being and a healthy spirit3 can liberate a restless mind. With faith, we foster hope, and allow positive thoughts and biblical truths to rule in our hearts and minds. A counselor may help in examining deeply-rooted issues or tragic events in the past that weren’t addressed. Preventive health is the way to go. Let’s not wait until illness strikes and catches us too weak to even recognize it.

 See original article here: Nourishing Your Mental Health

__________________________________________________

1 Depression (major depressive disorder or clinical depression) is a common but serious mood disorder. It causes severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working. To be diagnosed with depression, the symptoms must be present for at least two weeks. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml

2 Mental illnesses are health conditions involving changes in thinking, emotion or behavior (or a combination of these); …associated with distress and/or problems functioning in social, work, or family activities. https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/what-is-mental-illness

3 Romans 8:6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.

The Blame Game: To Blame or Not to Blame Myself for My Child’s Mental Health

 

• Written 

Written August 27, 2019 by Richelle Joson-Ligot

Self blame. “This is our default, as parents,” says Angela Franco, mom of four. Having been diagnosed with clinical depression, with two kids likewise getting treated for depression, she admits, “I didn’t worry much (about my son) because I knew there was help; therapy and meds… With my daughter, I worried kasi nagself-harm siya… There was guilt here kasi… She must’ve seen it from me.”

Many Factors, Many Ways

I sat with Dr. Aurorita Roldan, former dean of U.P. College of Home Economics and faculty member of its Department of Family Life and Child Development, seeking answers to how parents should respond to their child’s mental health issues.

She discourages any self-evaluation: “The world is…big and small at the same time in the sense that children get a lot of input, not only from parents, but also from the environment… I think it’s simplistic and it’s not right for someone to blame oneself, because there are so many factors at play—their peers, media, the internet, Facebook, everything, sobrang marami (there’s so much).” 

Based on research by neuroscientist Dr. Lamont Tang, a common myth is that mental illness is caused by bad parenting. But the fact is, most diagnosed individuals come from supportive homes.

Then why does a parent tend to blame self? “There’s this notion that parents are in control; in fact, more and more parents lose control now over their children, and there’s a tendency to overreact to that,” Dr. Roldan responds.

What Can Be Done

• Go to professionals. Her advice includes: We must go to extensively experienced professionals, or counselors, and ask not “What have I done or did not do?“ but “What must I do to help my child?“ Be cognizant about the child’s developmental stage, and that each child is unique. Whatever symptoms she exhibits would differ from another whose behavior can point to clinical depression or anxiety disorder. Sadly, some kids have been misdiagnosed. The availability of information through the net has also contributed to the child concluding on his own that he’s depressed, or bipolar.
• Decongest self. A parent must “decongest herself”, because “the more you think about yourself and your role in it, the more you’re not able to help…you end up attending to your self than attending to the person you’re dealing with. You must become proactive more than reactive,” Dr. Roldan explains. By decongesting yourself, you have to stop analyzing your part in it because first, you are not in the position to do so, and then you end up being preoccupied with yourself. You become defensive, feel guilty, and even compensate for it which aggravates the situation as your reactions may be used by your child to manipulate you.
• Seek help. Lloyd I. Sederer, M.D., Medical Director of the New York State Office of Mental Health emphasized the need to seek help: “Don’t go it alone…There are people and places to turn to.” In the Philippines, options for assistance are found in http://www.silakbo.ph/help/ 
• Don’t fight. Dr. Sederer also suggests parents should not get into a fight with the child, something that results from exasperation when our child won’t cooperate. Instead, parents must listen and get on the side of your child. He also mentions leverage if listening isn’t enough—“In all families…it’s a two-way street. You give and you get, and you get by giving.” Use the support you are providing (a home, money, phone, etc.) to negotiate with. Say something like, “Here’s what we provide, and in exchange we want you to do something in your interest, to help you get better: go to an appointment, take treatment, do the hard work of recovery, take care of yourself.” Leverage is being engaged in a harder but effective way more than getting into a quarrel.

What Else Can Be Done

To get the perspective of those with mental health challenges, I asked six people what they appreciate about what their parents did, and how they think parents could be more helpful.

Angela, who is in her 40’s, believes that parents must accept the condition of the child as a mental health issue, look at it as a medical condition that is manageable and treatable, and prepare “for the emotional, mental, physical, psychological, spiritual and financial roller-coaster ride.” Avoid self-loathing, for this will hinder the parent from giving the support his child needs.

Angela’s input echoes the results of Dr. Tang’s research, “Mental disorders can affect persons of any age, race, sex, religion or income. Mental illnesses are not a result of personal weakness, lack of character or poor upbringing. Mental illness is a physical condition just like asthma, diabetes, heart disease. But still society believes that a person who is mentally ill needs to show more willpower—to be able to pull themselves out of it.”

Her 23-year old son Dillan knows his dad was never a believer in mental health but was at the forefront of providing, “From buying medication, checking up on me, reminding that it’s time to drink the meds and giving whatever is needed…He would also ask me if I needed anymore which was comforting…even though we never talked about it…My mom (who) lives across the world and my two sisters would be the ones I would usually talk to when I was ready to talk. They would listen and suggest things that I could do to help me cope.”

Lui, Angela’s 17-year-old daughter, appreciates her dad for reminding her about medication. Even from a distance, a parent can help. “My mom doesn’t sugarcoat how things are going to be for people with depression, which pulls me into reality; she’s always there to guide me through my episodes, in a different country even.”

The parents of 24-year-old Justine thought she was just going through a phase. Her school counselor said her episodes are just a matter of faith, and a lack of discipline, concluding that she was just being an emotional teenager. Justine wishes she was not left undiagnosed for 12 years. “It was painful to be unheard and misunderstood for that long,” Justine recalls. Just being present helps and assures her of their love. “I remember my mom just crying with me…because she couldn’t fully grasp what I was going through, but she never stopped reminding me how much she loved me.” Justine is thankful for how her parents go with her to appointments. “It doesn’t seem like a lot, but it means so much when you’re away from home, and when your parents just decide to come…have a quick lunch or just visit. It makes you feel unforgotten and less lonely.”

For Philip, parents must value the trust children give them, “(When your children open up,) don’t shut them off…(or) talk them out of it.” He asserts that children need support, not speeches nor opinions, nor past experiences about mental health. “(We don’t need our) emotions flat out dismissed, downplayed or invalidated,” Philip adds. He appreciates that he is not forced to open up, and to draw close to his parents. He believes that, as children grow older, “they develop a sense of identity away from their parents and would naturally want time for themselves… (and) experiences…to keep to themselves. Do not pry nor…get mad if they refuse to share. Generally, avoid helicopter parenting.” He affirms that this makes a child anxious about making mistakes and discourages them from opening up. “Give them the trust that they need, and let them come to you when they…are ready to share or to open up,” says the 20-year-old. Philip still feels the mental health stigma especially in church communities. It does not help that a parent divulges a child’s condition even as a prayer request without his consent.  

Twenty-four year old Josiah Bien is grateful that his parents help him through advice, mostly practical every time he feels down. “Aside from listening, it’s love that will really draw you closer together. The love will urge you to listen. They do not judge my mental health but be with it. It is a reminder to myself, that we shouldn’t be judging the emotion. Emotions are to be felt and not to be merged with. You are not the emotion.”

A parent’s pain pushes him to punish himself for his child’s condition. But a parent’s love compels him to go forward. Start moving forward instead of looking back. Instead of asking: “What have I done?” ask: “What can I do?” 

View Original Article here: The Blame Game

1 TEDx Talks. (2013 June 21).  Lamont Tang at TEDxHongKongED: Genius, Mental Illness and Everything in Between [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjzFmR5lai0

 2 TEDx Talks. (2015 January 6). Lloyd I. Sederer at TedX Albany: When Mental Illness Enters the Family  [Video File]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRO0-JXuFMY&feature=youtu.be

3 Ibid.

4 TEDx Talks. (2013 June 21).  Lamont Tang at TEDxHongKongED: Genius, Mental Illness and Everything in Between [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjzFmR5lai0

Faith, Family, Friends: How These Help Those Who Struggle with Mental Health Issues

Is mental health really a matter of the mind or the spirit?

Gone are the days when people were chained, isolated, laughed at, or ignored because they acted strangely, exhibited “dual personalities,” or are just dark and dreary for long periods of time. Or, are they? When we think that mental instability is a result of moral failure or a spiritual state, don’t we also somehow respond the same way as confining, driving away, shrugging off and neglecting a person?

A multi-faceted approach in dealing with mental issues seems to work best. We learn from experts that complementing medicine and therapy with personal faith, and the care and support of family and friends, produces significant recovery results for a loved one.

The topic is more openly discussed now, but the stigma remains. As writer Nathaniel Hoffman has said, “…until people are willing to put their names on these stories, this isn’t real.”1 Here are six people who were willing to share how faith, family, and friends play a relevant role in their mental health.

Dillan Franco, 23, fresh graduate of Special Education: Being a young man with depression has never been easy. You have this social image that men should be strong and unemotional…(that) makes you isolate yourself from the rest of the world and turn everything off. I was never the most religious person and I usually keep to myself. Through that I struggled and sought to pray and found that keeping your faith and knowing that God is there for you all the time brings hope. (To) know that He is always there makes things a lot lighter.

I have family members that have struggled with their mental health and I hate to see and know they go through it because I know how difficult it gets. I always feel this urge to want to help in whatever way I can. That’s what family is. They struggle with you and go through different lengths just to help you get by and over.

Friends make it easier to open up and venting is something that helps manage one’s mental health. Speaking to someone who will listen and who you can confide in is something everyone needs.

Lui Franco, 17, senior HS, Jiu Jitsu practitioner and wrestler: Faith in God over the years has made its mark on my mental health. Talking to God allows me to feel like I have someone to catch me when I fall. He lets me feel that everything is going to be okay by putting such understanding people in my life, people who care about me. I know that God put great people to stand by me because He cares about me.

My family has been nothing but supportive. My siblings mean the world to me. They’re willing to listen to me and look after me. Whenever I have an episode, they’re there by my side.

I’ve thankfully made a few friends who are completely okay with who I am and accept the baggage I carry, and they’ve helped me out by treating me like a regular person. My teammates would just let me sit down and get myself together, they leave me for a breather and I’ll be back on my feet after a few minutes. But when I have a suicidal episode at home, I usually get myself to tell someone and … they don’t leave alone,…keep an eye on me; and remind me that things are okay and I don’t need to do anything stupid.

 

Tata Franco, 47, mom & teacher: The 3Fs (family, friends, faith) did not work for me. (Depression) in fact, shook my faith and my relationship with Jesus and my family. I was given, maybe all the spiritual advice that my family could give me, from friends, counselors, pastors, etc. I knew I needed more than that. But I felt I wasn’t being heard until I was brought to the hospital two times due to overdose.

I did not have that faith during my recovery because I had a “falling out” with God then. I did not acknowledge any help from God then. I just realized later on how God’s presence was in the midst of my recovery.

Mental health issues are not bloodied wounds that can be seen, …manifest physical pain or disfigurement., (but) treated differently from … ailments that need medical attention. And leaving it all to prayer and faith can be more harmful to the patient mentally and spiritually. There would also be the struggle of the patient for “not being a Christian” if you…leave it all to faith and prayer to make you well.

Family should check-in with the patient’s doctor so that they can be well informed…(on) how they can help and deal with everyday circumstances. Family counseling (may help) if the doctor suggests.

What helps: Listen and validate. Acknowledging their struggle could be very comforting and not make them feel ridiculed. Accompany and encourage that friend to see a counsellor. Tell your parents about your friend’s mental health issue (who can then talk to your friend’s parents). Seek the advice of a person who has dealt with mental health issues… I ask them (fellow strugglers) if they want to hear an objective advice or if they want some help processing thoughts and then I would say, ‘Because that’s what I did and it helped me.’

Words that help:

• I don’t really know how you’re feeling/ I can’t relate, but what you’re going through must be really difficult.
• I can be a sounding board.
• I don’t know if I can help but I can listen.’
• How can I help?
• Is there anything I can do?
• Do you want company or do you want to be left alone?
• Do you want to talk about it?”

What won’t help: When we think that we know it all…(and) belittle the disease. But if we treat it as harmful and devastating as cancer, AIDS, or any life threatening condition (but can be managed), we will be careful about what we say and do. Please do not say:

• You’re so strong!
• You’ll get through this.
• Kaya mo yan! (You can do this!)
• GRABE! How do you get by?!
• Snap out of it!
• Bakasyon lang yan! Or: Massage lang kelangan niyan! (Take a break! Get a massage!)
• God will get you through this.
• You should pray more.
• Maybe God is saying something.

 

Philip Santos, 20, BS Human Capital Development student: Having (a) relationship with (God) brings a whole new meaning that is always appropriate for your situation. His Word never fails to motivate, to encourage, and to minister. His Word had never been (more) real than when I was going through depression, and it is even so much more real now that He’s healed me. Going through faith-stretching experiences …makes you appreciate the genius of our Lord. He said He would be with us always and that He would not leave us alone. He left us His Word to directly communicate with us and His Holy Spirit as the seal of our promise in Him, our ever present Helper and Guide.  Christian music played a big role …even until now post-depression (as) something you can hold on to and sing.

Bringing me to a psychiatrist was the best thing that my family did for me. Praise be to God that they were supportive throughout the entire journey and … able to financially support the sessions and medications.

God blessed me with a lot of friends. My best friend…happened to be going through similar conditions so we look out for each other…that support system really helped me stay alive….  Having two accountability partners, (meeting) even more people, thanks to…Twitter…decided to reach out, helping reach where I am today. …My GCF Youth LIVE community (gave me) help, love, and support… in different degrees — that solid foundation really sustained me through all those years.

 

Photo taken by Migel Alfonso

Jobie Sebastian, 24, graphic designer: My mental health is not something I’d be proud to share but with the openness and willingness of my friends, family and faith I’ve come to realize that it’s not a disability we should put aside in hiding…

Countless times I’ve asked God, “Why allow me to have a mental health issue?” I stopped asking when my dad also struggled with it. Instead of “Why?”, maybe asking “How can I be of use?” or “How can it be of use to glorify You?” My dad was in a low point in his life that only I knew where he was coming from. It helped me be the person to stand up for him and reminding him that he has not failed, because my dad himself was the one who taught me God’s Word and I couldn’t have helped him if he didn’t share God’s love to me. 

My friends and family have always drawn me and reminded me about my faith in God. And in times of turmoil, it is God that remains constant in an everyday predicament. My family and friends have always welcomed me with their ears and most of the time, that’s all that’s needed—someone to listen to you.

I’m no perfect example of someone devoted to God. But I can promise (to be) someone who can struggle with them and be their friend. The sense of someone to connect to.

 

Justine Yambao, 24, worship ministry assistant : One of the things that I was constantly told from the time I was 10 till today is that God’s love is unconditional and His grace is unfathomable, and that is one of His truths that really comforts me in times I felt so vulnerable and flawed. The idea that I did not need to perform to be loved, and how it became a reality in my life is one of the factors that would hold me from committing to my suicide attempts. And that is what my friends would tell me when I couldn’t find hope in darkness.

What hurt most was when I would break down and I was told that I was selfish for wanting to kill myself and that I wasn’t thinking of those around me… Whenever I wanted to kill myself, it wasn’t because I wanted to hurt anyone. It was because I wanted to stop hurting those around me, or to stop being a burden, but it was never meant for revenge. It would have helped if someone just really sat by my side and listened. They don’t even need to say anything.

A spiritual relationship with God transcends human understanding. It’s such a beautiful experience to realize how broken you are, yet know that it doesn’t matter to someone. I can confidently say that I have experienced and witnessed so much in my life where I believe only God could have done/shown me that…

My most recent suicide episode in October 2018 went from chaos to calm… Just as I was about to, Someone just clung onto me. Not physically, but inside of me, Someone held me… It felt like there was a dialog, but there wasn’t. Everything just went silent. It felt like Someone was hugging my heart and soul. All of a sudden, I could hear the street lamp flickering. There was silence and peace within me. And I don’t think that was simply because my brain shut down, because that hug was the most comforting, non-physical gesture I had ever had… I felt so safe, and all I could remember was receiving that love I knew was from God. And even as I write this, I was actually contemplating suicide last night, so today is not exactly a great day, but going back to that memory, I just feel so safe and loved, and I don’t think I would have gone this far if I didn’t have that deep relationship with God where I just come to Him bare, carrying everything of me in its raw form.

---

“Faith definitely helps,” states Dr. Aurorita Roldan, UP Faculty of Family Life and Child Development and Head Counselor of GCF Emmaus Road Counseling Center. “When I say faith, I talk about spirituality and relationship with God. You realize that there’s someone else bigger than you who’s in control.. You know that you are not alone, and that things don’t happen at random. There’s always a purpose for what’s happening,  although you don’t understand it. That’s where faith comes in… You can’t figure out, you don’t see any reason for what’s happening.”  

Referring to Friedrich Nietzsche’s “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering”, Dr. Roldan adds: “The most difficult suffering is when you don’t understand the reason for that suffering. If you know, then you can endure it. But if you don’t know, that’s really difficult. That’s where faith comes in. That’s why faith is important. Even if I’m suffering right now, I know that there’s a constant… There’s nothing that happens that God did not allow to happen, so there must be a purpose for it somewhere when I look back. Right now I might not be able to understand it, so that’s where faith comes in; because not everything can be understood actually.”

Acceptance by the family is very important to the patient. If the family rejects you, you move on outside with that feeling of rejection.  Parents can encourage their child about how faith can help, by basically praying for them and with them, depending on their age. Siblings can pray, too.

Dr. Roldan thinks “Faith is not something you tell your child to have; it’s a product of experience of God. So, it has something to do with a genuine faith; it’s not something you dictate. It’s coming from within, and it is developed because of one’s experience with God. So when people say, ‘Have faith in God,’ it could be so abstract if one has not experienced it. It’s really praying for the child to have a genuine experience of God, and their need for God, and the opportunity to grow and to trust God for what he cannot understand.”

She advises that when a child is growing, we can use opportunities to exercise faith: like praying together when the child is sick so he directly experiences answered prayer. The parent can share about how God worked in her own life, talking about her own imperfections, weaknesses, and resolutions of conflicts or problems.

Her counsel to friends include: “Instead of saying ‘Pray,’  pray with your friend or ask, ‘May I pray for you?’ or “Let’s stop and pray, I want to pray for you.’ Instead of thinking of the words you could say, listen a lot. You don’t have to play like a clinician, psychologist or counselor…just respond genuinely. If you’re genuinely concerned, and it’s love that pours out of your heart, the right words will come out.”

Rev. Susan Gregg-Shroeder, coordinator of Mental Health Ministries, says that “The most painful part of my illness was the feeling of disconnection. A supportive faith community would have helped me feel that I was connected to something bigger than my own feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness…(and) would have embraced my family. We would not have had to suffer in silence. I pray that the time will come when families living with a loved one with mental illness will be silent no more.”2

“We still face the long-standing conflict between faith and science. The scientific medical model looks for a cure. The emphasis is on finding answers and the relief of symptoms. As we know, many times, there is not a cure. Healing is the peace that comes from knowing that God is working in our lives to bring about the best possible outcome, which is healing mind, body, and spirit. This sense of peace and wholeness are gifts from a loving and compassionate God even as we learn to live with mental illness. The challenge we face today is not the choice between faith and science. We need both. Medications may stabilize symptoms. But it is relationships, connections to others and love that heal the soul.”3

Find article here: Faith, Family, Friends: Do these really help with Mental Health Issues?

1 TEDx Talks. (2013 December 10). Liza Long at TEDxSanAntonio: Time to Talk – a Parent’s Perspective on Children’s Mental Illness [Video file]. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/EkL6Qx07aiU 

2 Susan Gregg-Schroeder, “Mental Illness and Families of Faith: How Congregations Can Respond” The Christian Citizen, Vol. 2, 2014. https://www.psychiatry.org › Psychiatrists › Cultural-Competency › Schroe..

3 Gregg-Schroeder, Rev. Susan, Mental Illness & Families of Faith: How Congregations Can Respond Resource (Study Guide for Clergy and Communities of Faith) http://www.mentalhealthministries.net/resources/study_guide/mental_illness_study_guide.pdf